another week over, a new one not yet begun

Okay, sorry John.

Anyhow...lunch.



Grilled cheese and tomato sandwich with garlic powder. Olive oil drizzle, not butter, on the bread. (I suppose that I could have done garlic bread, duh, but my brain doesn't work that well on two hours of sleep.)

Chopped apple, spinach, toasted walnut salad. I oh-so-stupidly added dressing to this. Why can't I remember that I'm not a huge fan of dressing? At least I added very little, but I could still taste it. Now, if it was the salad dressing I had recently at Coach J's I would have been happy. I really need to figure out what that was and think about getting some myself.

I'm tired, so I'm going to nap and then clean for the rest of all eternity.

the clock is ticking

I did a somewhat unintelligent thing yesterday. I drove through the neighborhood where we very recently lived. We were renting a house, so we always knew that the arrangement would be short-term, but we didn’t figure that the term would be so, well, short. However, there’s this little housing market crisis thing going on…you might have heard about it.

So, now, we’re back in an apartment (soon to be a bigger apartment, but still an apartment) and I’m back to constantly daydreaming about owning my own home. I’m so cliché with that whole American dream of owning a house. (I’m not so into many other American dreams, including that whole get-rich-quick thing or that whole being famous thing, but the house, I want.) I could probably deal without the white picket fence and the dog (and I could definitely do without the 2.5 kids), but I want the house.

Recently, Cardo has been hinting around about us settling down. I don’t know how much of this has to do with his heart problem, but he does seem to be a bit more thoughtful lately. He even said to me, the other day, “It’d be nice if you could get your PhD somewhere else and then come back and work here. We could buy a house here.” I’m much too impressionable for him to be throwing these suggestions my way. Sounds great to me, sign me up. There’s just the issue of the next five years of our lives and how we will live them.

Will we live together, or not? If we don’t, how am I going to earn my PhD, raise a child who will grow from a pre-schooler to an almost-middle-schooler and maintain my mental health? (There is no question about who Pic would stay with.)

We’re kind of really dependent on the paycheck that Cardo pulls in from this job he’s been at for almost a decade now. In these incredibly uncertain times, we’re both nervous about both of us trying to find new sources of income (well…income for him, pocket change for me).

Anyhow, I’m feeling this pull for some sort of stable domesticity. Who knows how long before I reach this. Hmm.

the very first time

One Minute Writer for today:

Describe a "first day" in your life (first day of marriage, of school, at a new job, etc.)

Here we go...

The night before the first day I ever really taught, I called my mom to tell her just how uncomfortable I was with the idea that all of my students would be looking at me. Right at me. Probably even for most of the class (when they could tear their eyes away from their crotches where they "hide" their IMing devices). My mom still finds this funny. I still find the prospect of so many people looking right at me a bit terrifying. But, only a bit. I still get nervous before each new first day, but not as much as I used to.

So, yeah...

all the news that's fit to air

Sometimes I have a somewhat hostile reaction to the news. I talk to the tv, informing the producers or whoever that the news they are giving me is not only undesirable, but also insufficient. Tonight, for example, there was much hubbub about the evil budget cuts. Then, there was mention of libraries and parks. The end.

Um, what about the libraries? What about the parks? These are two institutions we depend heavily on over here at La Casa B. I'm especially concerned about cuts concerning the libraries. We depend on those programs. We shop at Secondhand Prose and the FWCL sales, thus giving the libraries a bit more of our financial support. (Oh, and sometimes I have to pay late fees. Here's my .35, please don't cut our programs.) We sometimes put money in the wishing well. We need to do this more often.

We'll see what comes about due to these cuts. Money just frustrates me beyond...other stuff. There seems to be so much, yet never enough.

Argh.

oh god, the guilt

I especially love what Rebecca says about in order to be the best version of ourselves as mothers, we need to be the best version of ourselves as women. Because even if we are mothers, we're always also more.

After Pic was born, I went through this weird identity crisis. I was so entirely excited to be her mamma, but I started to define myself solely as such. My voicemail on my phone said something like, "Hi, you've reached Pic's mamma, also known as v." Totally lame, I know. More importantly, totally not the way I want to define myself. Of course, I am her mamma, but I'm also more (I hope).

So, this was actually a conversation I loved. More of this would be great.

more random stuff

I'm sitting here, eating Kashi mushroom spinach pizza, reading Dooce's pregnancy announcement and listening to NPR. I just heard one of the blurbs for a show that will be on later (I think, I didn't quite catch that) and the woman said that woolly mammoth DNA has been decoded and we might be able to clone them soon. (My mind is going in a couple of different directions, but I believe this is what I heard.)

Um, why? Why would we clone a woolly mammoth? Haven't these people read/seen Jurassic Park? Okay, though, on a serious note...why?

On an opposite-of-serious note, the following is the song that came to mind and, well...here are the Chipmunks.



And, actually, I've never thought much about this song, but someone explain it to me. While you're at it, explain the following video to me, please.



And...
Matty told Hatty
'Bout a thing she saw
Two big pizzas
That'll fill your jaw.
[Little Caesar's pizza, anyone? Does anyone else remember this or did I make it up when I was little?]

things that make you go "hmm"...

I was wondering about this. [Listen to the audio.] I was annoyed that Hahn suddenly disappeared. I was thinking, "She'll come back," but if they wrote her out, maybe not. (Yes, I watch Grey's Anatomy. Seriously.)