food stuffs

Okay, now, it's October. It's time to get serious about this blogging stuff. I've had all these plans for blogging more regularly for months now, but, oh the rhythm. There has been no rhythm sweeping me up...in any part of my life. I would say it's time for me to create my own rhythm, but I'm one of those totally uncoordinated people who has to count aloud to dance to music. Ah, well.

Seriously, though. I'm putting my fingers to the keyboard and forcing myself to make this a frequent habit. (Does that phrase even make sense? Frequent habit?)

I haven't regularly posted about food in forever. That's certainly not because I haven't been eating. I have a complicated relationship with food. I overthink it. Then, I get all bogged down in thinking what a luxury it is for me to have the problems I do with food. Then, I realize I've gotten so wrapped up in my own head that if I don't distract myself quickly, I'll never get out.

Anyhow, I'm trying to change my relationship with food. Maybe we've grown too comfortable with one another and need to spice things up? (Except, of course, I'm a pretty big fan of very bland food.)

After all this lead up, you might be thinking that I'm going to post some spectacularly fabulous dish today, but, well, I'm not. In fact, I'm posting something I need to work on. At the same time, I'm posting something that shows me trying to widen my palate (which I just spelled "palette" and had to look up to figure out what was wrong because I knew something was off*).

So, without further spewing of words, I present to you The Breakfast of Champions:



Or, y'know, Breakfast of Those Who Like Heart-Unhealthy Foods in Very Small Quantities. Actually, this is my bowl waiting for its grits. I'm sure I've had grits before -- I even think I've made them -- but the recollection is murky. I made them according to the box, but, wow!, were they salty. I added salt to the water, as recommended and there's salt in cheese, no? My butter is unsalted, so I know it wasn't from that. The next time I prepare grits, I'm skipping the salt in the water. We'll see if that makes them any better. I certainly hope so, because I have an entire box of the things to consume.

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In other food-related bits: My child is quickly developing all of my cooking skills (or, should I say 'skillz'?). She proudly proclaimed to me the other morning that she prepared her own breakfast. When I got up, she told me, "I made breakfast for myself. I made cold toast!"

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Please note my note about ice cream on my last post. I'm still feeling the effects. I have not slept, but I have caught up on two blogs I've was so behind on! How can I finally convince myself that that much ice cream just isn't good for me (for any living creature, really)? You'd think the sleeplessness and anxiety that follows would do it, but apparently not.

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* This (it's not until 2:12, sorry) is what is now stuck in my head:


"Tommy Boy (1995) Theatrical Trailer"

happy freaking new year

I finally hauled myself out of bed this morning to the sounds of my neighbors screaming at each other. Ah, the sounds of love.

Anyhow, we're planning on hanging out around the apartment today. Pic is watching It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown because we have been lax in watching and sending back the Netflix movies lately. I can't wait until we get this set of movies sent back, though, because up next should be The Shop Around the Corner, recommended to me by Ms Kat. I watched it way back when she recommended it, but it's been a while. If we owned it, I'd watch it much more often. My last Netflix choice was somewhat unfortunate. Four Christmases. Ugh. Big fat UGH. I'm still not exactly sure why I watched it, but I won't be doing that ever again.

Cardo's working on his car and I'm doing laundry and posting here. I'm really hoping we'll be able to get out for a walk later today, though. Please cooperate weather. The sky is pretty grey right now, so we'll see.

So, minus our neighbors' heated argument earlier, we're having a quiet new year so far...just the way I like things. I hope everyone else is able to take some time off for themselves also.

talking in circles

There's something about getting into bed at night that suddenly makes me want to have in-depth chats with Cardo. I'm sure he loves this (please note the irony here). When he's ready for bed, he pretty much wants to lay down, wiggle around for entirely too long trying to find a comfortable spot and then quickly fall asleep (oh how I envy those who can fall asleep so quickly). Also, I'm pretty sure the sound of my voice droning on and on puts him to sleep.

Anyhow, last night was just such a night. I wanted to have a deep conversation about our future and about my own goals that have been slowly surfacing over the last five years. I've been so busy that I haven't had much time to really think them, my goals, through, but having this time 'off' has given my plenty of time (often too much, actually) to think about what I value and about what I want out of this go-around.

And, going around seems to be what we're doing. Every time we decide something, there seems to be an 'or,' either expressed or not. We could stay and settle into this rhythm, or we could go somewhere else and start out again. I could find part-time work, or I could go right back to school (if one will have me). We could stay in the apartment, or we could find another place to rent (if only we had a few tens of thousands of dollars as a downpayment on a house...ah, well).

At times, having so many large possibilities looming makes me want to completely shut down. I am easily overwhelmed and I don't really relish change (at least not initially, but I pretty quickly adapt if I give myself a chance). The other day, as we walked, I was thinking how nice it would be if someone, some magical fairy godperson, walked up to me and just told me what would be the best choice right now. Um, yeah, not going to happen, I know. And, anyhow, I don't really take well to being told what to do.

So, I'm still unsure about our next move. For now, I'm just trying to enjoy where we are and remember how happy I am that I am a part of this family and that I have so much time with this family. I'm afraid that, by next August, so much will have changed (Pic should be in kindergarten then) and I don't want to wish this time away or spend all of it worrying.

I would just like to throw one idea out there: if all of my friends would like to come live nearby, or stay nearby, that would be great. If I owned a commune, I'd invite you all to live there with me. Or something. However, I know that we all have different places to go and be right now and in the future, so I'll just keep thanking the wonders of the interweb for making staying in touch possible.

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Declutter:

Oh, Children's Music, how I don't really love you all that much. I apologize.


This lived in my car for quite some time. The plastic case is actually crumbling. I regretted buying this almost the moment we did buy it, but, as fortune would have it, we haven't had to listen to it in a verrrry long time. Mainly, we stick with NPR or the Sesame Street Best album I got at Secondhand Prose for $1! I love it. (And, yes, forty-year-old Sesame Street deserves its own post, but it'll have to wait.)

...and...

Seriously! I own more holiday cards! Oy with the poodles!


Into the give-away bag they go.

autumn hibernation?

So, let's see. What did I do today? Slept? That's right. All I have done today is sleep. Actually, that's not entirely true. I have filled up the sink with dishes to be washed. I've made Pic some oatmeal and poured out some watered-down juice for her. We've eaten some mandarin orange slices. We've had our daily dose of learning/reading/activities. I've caught up on a couple of blogs. But, mainly I slept. I have no idea why I slept so much today, but I suppose I needed it, so I'll try to feel okay about it.

I still need to shower, because here I sit in sweatpants and my pajama top, my hair hanging limply around my cheeks. I need to figure out what we're having for dinner. I need to figure out when I want to bake, because I have a vast list of items I'd like to try (or try again).

Mainly, though, I want Cardo to be home so we can all bundle up and head out for a walk. We haven't taken any pictures of autumn temperatures taking over, of leaves turning brilliant reds, oranges and yellows. Either we forget the camera or the batteries run out of juice (or whatever). However, yesterday, I charged the batteries and today I'm determined to take some pictures that will probably end up disappointing me, but ah well. It's pretty gorgeous outside. I love living somewhere that has actual seasons. I don't care what the naysayers say, here in the biggest of the little cities, we have seasons. Some have asserted that we don't, but I'm guessing those people didn't live thirteen of their growing-up years in Vegas, where it's hot and cold, the end (yea for oversimplification!).

Anyhow, let's all cross our fingers, please, in hopes that I remember the camera in a lame attempt to capture the beauty of my favorite season. For now, though, I'm off to shower in an attempt to transform myself into an actual human.

checking in

Wow. October is looking dismal as far as posts. Also, as far as keeping in touch (that phrase always reminds me of yearbook signatures: v, it was really neat knowing you, K.I.T.!!!).

We have been out of town for a few days now. Pic and I accompanied Cardo on some business and then we spent some quality family time away from the quality family apartment. Okay, so we spend tons of quality family time together. In fact, of late, I have used my family and my family time as a blanket in which to wrap myself as I try to figure out if I'm ready to open the doors and the lines of communication and really have to talk to people about the abrupt departure for far-flung places and the equally abrupt return. It's nice here in my family quilt.

So, anyhow, I've made a decision. I've decided that my thirties will be my years to grow up. Yes, I know that I have a decade of college work under my belt. I've held numerous jobs in those same last ten years. I've been with Cardo for eight years and we've been married for six. I have a four-year-old. You'd think I'd have already grown up, or at least I'd feel as if I had. Not so.

So...my thirties. That gives me a bit more time to even get there and then an entire decade to figure 'it' out. I can do that. In fact, I have a lot of 'it' figured out, just not so much of the dotting of the 'i' and the crossing of the 't.' (Yeah, yeah, I know that was an awkward figurative trip I just took you on. All I mean is that I've got the big picture figured out -- I've had that down for the past twenty-five years or so. Now, I just need to begin filling in the details, hence the dotting and the crossing.)

Possibly pictures later. This means that I'll actually have to charge the camera battery which died at precisely the moment I was going to take a picture of a B&B Cardo and I keep threatening to go to. Ah well, it lives on in our imaginations (and, y'know, in all of its solid glory of actual existence).

Also, possibly a weekly dinner menu soon. We need to grocery shop. I'm hoping that happens tomorrow. Although what we buy might start to look different. Okay, not all that much different. I, along with the help of a certain journalist, somewhat freaked Cardo out today and he's all ready to go vegetarian. First of all, we barely buy meat. I don't really like to cook it. Second, I'm not sure that this new resolution of his, made in the passionate moment of hearing something disturbing, will really take hold.

Well, I just wanted to get back in the habit of actually posting here. I like the habit. I like the space. It's a great place to come to both vent and avoid all at the same time, a great place to put myself out there and to hide. It's my kind of space. Thanks be for the interweb.

preternatural productivity

(But not reproductivity, mind you.)

Again, I am up at an hour I should not be awake. You might be thinking, 'Hello, seven? How is that an hour at which one should not be awake?' Okay, so I went to sleep pre-nine-o'clock last night. I'm dragging along here under the weather. So, once again, I fell asleep on the couch. Cardo, once again, came to retrieve me for bed. He got me up at about one (wow, that man is staying up pretty late, lately). I fell right back asleep. The next thing I know, Pic is there, asking to get in our bed because her bedroom is scary to her (this is a new one for us). I figure it's pretty close to the time Cardo has to get up for work, so I go back to sleep for what I believe will only be a few minutes. And, I was right. However, it was somewhere around two when Pic came in and somewhere around two-thirty when she decided to get up for the day. Yes, that's right.

I got her some fruit, which she insisted on eating in her room. I thought she'd go back to sleep and I went to check on her around 3:45. She was not asleep. She joined me in the living room to watch some Gilmore Girls. Then, she cleaned her room so that she would be able to watch something of her choosing.

So, what have I gotten done today? I have washed the dishes. I have given the covert cat fresh water and food and replenished the food in the bin. I have cleaned the cat pan and emptied all of the small waste baskets around the apartment. I took out the trash from the apartment, plus the bag we had sitting on the porch (classy, I know). I have read a couple of Newsweek articles. I have made toast for Pic and tea for myself. I have sorted out the recyclables and put the paper products in Cardo's car for him to take out (they no longer have a bin for that at our apartments...it's been gone for years now, actually). I have planned out what Pic and I are going to do today (aside from taking a looong nap). I have made myself a cup of tea. (I have decided that this would have worked well as a bullet-point list.)

Now, if I can get around to showering, vacuuming and putting away that last load of laundry today, I'll feel that today has been something of a success.

Geez.

Well, I'm off to wake up Cardo and see if he wants some coffee (and, if he does, I'm also off to ask him what the coffee/water ratio is again).

sleep, glorious sleep

Yesterday was one of those totally blah days. I had no energy, very little appetite and no desire to be anywhere but bed. This could have something to do with inadvertently pulling an all-nighter the previous night. I just couldn't sleep. Then, Cardo got up at five and he and I spent three hours watching Gilmore Girls. (I only have up until the end of season four, so we're almost finished. Then, it's off to Netflix.) I took a nap for almost three hours, or about three hours, or something, on Friday, but, hey, that's not enough.

So, yesterday, I was asleep by about seven in the evening. I woke up a couple of times and Cardo came to the living room to get me when he went to be at almost one (that's really late for him). I just got up about twenty minutes ago. I'm hoping for a better, more productive day today. Although, yesterday, we did run several errands, including hitting the Grassroots Books parking lot sale, the rest of which has been postponed until next weekend due to the weather.

Speaking of the weather, though, I believe we're going to get all bundled up la questa mattina and go for a walk at the parks. We did this on Friday, also, although we didn't make it as long as usual. I hurt my foot a couple of weeks ago and, while it's almost back to normal, it isn't up to more than an hour of walking on it at one time (hello prepositional phrases!). It could also have something to do with our trying out some roller skating for the first time in so many years I cannot even recall. I believe it's been more than a decade. I didn't make it very far, but I'll keep trying. I have even more respect now for Furie Queene and her skating abilities!

pause for reflection

Not much to report on today. I didn't make the kale thing. A friend offered to have Pic spend the night, so Cardo and I went out to dinner and then for a late, dark walk. It was nice, but it was strange to go for our nightly walk without Pic.

I've been so restless lately that I feel that at any moment I might spontaneously combust (wouldn't that be disgusting?). I feel like I have to be in some kind of motion, so, for this summer, it's been walking. What I'd really like is to be in a more figurative kind of motion, slowly moving toward some of my Big Life Goals (they deserve capitalization). And, I'm getting there. The thing is that I have to keep reminding myself of this. My Big Life Goals are pretty long-term and I know that it'll be years before we even reach them, but, geez, I can be impatient. Cardo is always calmly reminding me that we just have to be patient and I want to growl in frustration at him when he says this. But, I know he's right. There is no easy way to jump ahead and suddenly, magically, have the things I want. The things we want.

So, I have two...personal growth type goals for myself for right now. One: stop procrastinating so much on everything. Sure, I won't get that last-minute adrenaline rush thing, but I'll also be a lot more calm (and, I hope, confident) along the way. Two: Be patient. Appreciate where I am now and really understand how that will lead to me reaching my goals.

G'night.

you know, that one movie

The other night, Cardo and I were playing Trivial Pursuit and there was a question something like: 'What was Uma Thurman wearing on her feet for most of Pulp Fiction?' (I probably got most of that question wrong, but whatever.)

'Nothing!' I gleefully shouted (only very quietly, because Pic was sleeping).

'Right, she was barefoot,' Cardo responded, 'How'd you know that?'

'You watched the movie the other day when we were housesitting.'

Cardo sat there looking confused.

'You know,' I went on, 'The nasty movie where the women were always fighting each other...covered in blood...snatching eyeballs out.' [Pardon me while I vomit.]

'That was Kill Bill.'

'Oh, right, oops. But I still got it right.'

So, I'm not really at all, not even a little a Quentin Tarantino fan. Sorry. I'll leave his work for others. But, I got my little wedge for my gamepiece.

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P.S. At one point, I was more of a Tarantino fan, but I just can't stomach the violence anymore. I'm not sure that all of his films have so much violence but I choose not to find out. It seems that the more I tune in to the actual violence in the world, the less interested I am in watching it on the screen.

P.P.S. I knew that it wasn't Pulp Fiction that Cardo had been watching -- doesn't that film have John Travolta? -- but all too often I speak before I think.

it's been far too long...

I kid, I kid. I always feel a bit strange not writing, though.

So, I've obviously decided to spare us all and not participate in July's NaBloPoMo. This was pretty much borne of laziness. Last night, Cardo and I were watching Love Actually and I didn't realize until too late that it was the third and I'd not posted. Ah, well. A quick note or two on that movie before I move on. For whatever reason, I always think I actually like it, but then I watch it again and realize that no, actually, I don't. There are a couple of story lines I like, but not enough to want to watch it again and again (except, as I said, I keep forgetting I don't like it much). There's the Natalie story. Y'know, Natalie of the huge thighs and derriere. WHATEVER. That part always bugs me. The woman is definitely too small for them to say such things of her. What bothers me the most, though, is the Colin story. Colin who travels to America and meets four women who are so poor they can only afford one tiny bed and cannot afford pajamas. Okay, so it's his fantasy (and probably a possible fantasy of many others) but definitely not mine. It's just beyond ridiculous.

Anyhow, my contacts are drying out my eyes and I can't really see this anymore, so I'll stop writing and thinking about the movie.

One last quick note. This song has been stuck in my head all day. And, no, I'm not self-referencing. And, the whole part about wanting the 'truth'? Well, let's just leave it at this: I don't believe in Truth, but truth could work.

the anxious greys

Okay, so yes, ther're the blues and the mean reds, but right now, I'm feeling tense and anxious, uncertain and frustrated. It's a bit overwhelming. It's like the mean reds, only worse.

This is leading to me having absolutely nothing to write about and you're welcome. (Really, I apologize, but I've only two more days, including today, and then I can take a break.)

So, for a short list of stuff and then off to figuring out how to just relax already. I'm thinking chocolate or yoga...actually, I'm thinking both.

-- I'm an auntie again. Peecho gave birth to her second daughter (third child) just outside of the hospital at about three this morning. Don't worry, Baby NM wasn't born on the sidewalk, rather she was born in the ambulance. I'm pretty sure everything went well and that all is well now. I haven't yet talked to Peecho -- I called and left a message -- but I'll talk to someone within the next couple of days, I hope.

-- The pool right outside the window I'm currently sitting next to is finally being filled. They started filling it yesterday at around six in the evening, I think. I can't wait for it to open. We've been to the other pool a few times already. Pic is incredibly excited about her floaties and will actually let go of the side of the pool now.

-- Cardo has this crazy plan to go to Tahoe for Independence Day. I think about a bazillion other people probably also have this plan and we'll have to get there (to what part of Tahoe, I have no idea) incredibly early in the day.

-- My apartment is hot. Just thought you shoud know.

-- I bought a pre-made angelfood cake today. I hope it's not disgusting. If it's anywhere close to decent, I'll try making my own.

Okay, wow! That was just about beyond exciting! NOT! (Okay, I'm channeling Wayne and Garth and my carefree adolescent days. I'll stop now.) I'm going to go finish watching Three Men and a Baby now because I'm all about fine film. Oh yeah...and chocolate...and yoga (and yes, I know that I'm probably canceling out any physical benefits of the yoga with the chocolate, but I really can't care about that just now).

does a body good

Okay, so I'm not talking about milk (although I did drink a London Fog tea latte today and it was good and if I could just smell like those, I would be happy).

I've been great at regularly exercising this year (yes, overall, this is pathetic, but the year's been good) but I have a very limited library of exercise videos to choose from. (I prefer to exercise at home, in the living room, for the most part, so I depend on videos). I mainly stick with my Winsor pilates tapes and dvds. I bought these after Poke told me about them about five years ago (holy crap on a stick, I can't believe it's been so long). I started the mat routines just before I got pregnant and then gave it up for different exercises throughout my pregnancy. About six weeks after Pic was born, I picked up again with the pilates. I've been doing them on and off ever since. I'm working hard to try to make this habit, to tell myself that, duh, exercise is a normal part of the day, just like brushing my teeth and not sleeping. I hate that I have to consciously make it a part of my day, but that's where I am.

Anyhow, I've been trolling through Goodwill and Savers for exercise videos to break up the monotony. Today, I dragged Cardo with me. I just wanted some cardio to go with the Winsor cardio videos I have. I love looking at the thrift stores because they have all of these wonderful videos like one I saw today: Breathercise. Oh, okay, that's what I've been doing wrong all this time, not breathing. Wait....

Anyhow (again), I got a couple of new videos that will probably be completely embarrassing to do, but oh well. I did see this exact Sweatin' to the Oldies, but Cardo absolutely vetoed that purchase. Just seeing it though, brought two things to mind: seventh grade PE when we actually used Richard Simmons's videos and the thought, 'Do Richard Simmons's workouts actually work?' I'm sure he gets a lot of flack just for being who he is*, but are his programs effective? I guess, as long as Cardo's around, I'll never know for myself.

Finally, that leads me to one more pointless story (I'm full of them, folks). Last semester, one of my students did a paper on Kimora Lee Simmons. I had no idea who she was, but apparently she's a model and a top executive for Phat Fashions. She was married to Russell Simmons. Throughout the paper, I kept replacing 'Russell' with 'Richard' and I kept thinking, 'Huh? Really? This seems like a strange match, Kimora and Richard, but okay.' Fortunately, I figured it out before I asked my student about it.




[I was trying to find something with better picture quality, but...ah, well.]

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* Sometimes, people are just mean. I figure, he's enthusiastic and he seems to care about people. If you don't have anything nice to say, perhaps think about taking Thumper's mom's advice.

let me tell you 'bout the bears and the babies

Pic and I were just reading The Berenstain Bears' New Baby and Pic asked me, 'How's the baby going to get out of her uterus?'

'Well...,' I hesitated, 'The baby's going to come out of her...'

'Mouth?' Pic asked.

I laughed a bit but then told her, 'That's a good guess, but the baby's going to come out of Mama's vagina?'

'Why?'

'So she can be out in the world with us.'

Pic looked a little concerned but I told her babies are small and vaginal openings get bigger. I made the whole process seem a lot easier than it is, but I don't think I needed to be more detailed than that. What I told her is probably already way more than a lot of parents would have told their children, but I don't want her to grow up with some weird notion that babies emerge from mamma's mouths or bellybuttons or fully-formed from their fathers heads (although this explanation flashed into my head, I suppressed it).

So yes, this is what I get for reading these kinds of books to Pic. She's known for a long time now that a baby (or babies) reside in the mamma's uterus when they're still inside the mamma but this is the first time she's asked me about the baby's emergence.

Anyhow, in the book, Papa Bear and Small Bear (Brother's name before the '80s basically) go out into the woods to make Brother a bed because he's outgrown his bed just in time...when they get back, Mama has given birth (at home? alone?) and is up and around again. It's been a while since I've read it, but The Berenstain Bears and Baby Makes Five seems to portray a much more realistic picture of the process (nothing too in-depth, of course) -- at least the reality that many people I know experienced. (Of course, my mom did give birth to me in our home, but she was not alone.) I just couldn't let the storyline of The New Baby alone because, really, who gives birth at home, alone and then is back up a couple of hours later? And, yes, I know it's a kids' book and we're talking about cartoonish bears here, but I couldn't let it be. Although, now that I think about it, this must be what the birthing process seemed like to a lot of men (my dad not included because he was also at home when I was born) at that time and earlier when they waited in the waiting room, passing out cigars. Pregnant Mamma goes into the hospital room and Mamma and Baby come out.

So, I didn't mean for this post to be so long and rambly, but, well, here you have it. Pic'll probably end up asking some random question about growing vaginas to Papi and he'll be rightly perplexed and probably a bit concerned. I might just have ensured that I never have grandkidlets but I'd rather tell her what I know to be true than have her learn the really hard way. And, I avoided the c-section conversation altogether because 1) I doubt that Mama performed a do-it-yourself c-section and 2) I have no idea how to explain that without scaring my child half-to-death.

fuzzy food pictures

Okay, so not fuzzy food, but fuzzy pictures of food. My camera and my computer still don't get along all that well, so I'm stuck with even crappier pictures than I start with. (Seriously, I need tips on taking pictures of food. And, no, I won't change the dishes -- my grammie picked bought these from our wedding registry.)

I'm not really going to try to put these in order, and I suppose that seeing my food pictures in chronological order would be a concern to no one other than myself. So, here we go.



A mix of capellini and spaghetti with a sort-of sauce, what was a ton of spinach (in tons of pasta), some tomatoes and crushed red pepper flakes. Simple fare, folks.




Risi e bisi con pollo e funghi (because I can, that's why). Also, some roasted cauliflower (no, I don't know how to say that in Italian and I'm not looking it up -- I think it's time for a trip al'Italia).



The title under which I saved this picture is 'mundane dinner.' Chicken from Cardo's work, boxed mashed potatoes that I bought in 1972 (time travel rocks), sparrow-grass and multigrain batard from Trader Joe's.



Magic purple oatmeal. Pic and I kind of eat oatmeal for dinner often. I'm lazy like that. This oatmeal is topped with homemade applesauce (I'm still lazy, applesauce is incredibly easy to make), frozen blueberries and a bit of maple syrup. When we stirred it up, the blueberries turned the cereal purple.



Nothing spectacular here, folks. Again, TJ has saved us from mild hunger. Trader Joe's Perline Pasta and Prosciutto topped with our own mozzarella (as in we already owned it, not as in we made it).



Working dinner. Spinach and strawberry salad with raspberry walnut vinaigrette. Whole wheat toast with avocado. (Actually, I could go for some of that toast right now.) Served up with a side of Greenblatt, cultural history and a guide for those who are curious about researching. (My photography skills are so great I can't even put into words their utter greatness.)



Strawberry, avocado, spinach salad with a bit of crushed black pepper. Next time I'll probably add a side of the raspberry walnut vinaigrette. Served up in my beautiful new glass storage containers. I love Costco.



More strawberry and spinach salad. Pic and I also made apple pizza with whole wheat dough from (you guessed it), TJ's.

So, yes, I'll try to not do this again. I just needed to get all of these posted before we actually prepared food again and more pictures backed up.

I'll be needing to eat again in the future and I'm open to ideas. What are you all eating?

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P.S. In case you're interested: reverse alphabetical order based on the titles under which I saved my pictures.

she's going the distance

At least, that's the plan. I had a minor freak-out this weekend (one I'm sure I'll have many more weekends and weekdays): What if my parents come up here in May for no reason? What if not everything goes as planned?

It's funny, because at the same time that my brain won't turn off (as I'd like it to do when it turns to the above topics), it also wouldn't seem to turn on this weekend. I have been so useless since right after I taught on Friday. Cardo and I ran a few errands and, after that, I don't remember much of this weekend. I know that I got almost all of the laundry finished (there are still a few items in the dryer and they'll have to stay there until after school). I washed the dishes today and I actually made dinner for me and Pic (oatmeal, but I still think it counts). Mostly, though, I remember sleeping. I took a four-hour-long nap on Friday (which might not count as a nap considering I had only gotten about three hours of sleep before I faced Friday). I slept late on both Saturday and yesterday mornings. I've barely been able to stay awake, it seems. I've gotten not much at all accomplished, which is so incredibly not good at this point. I think I ate like crap, but I can barely remember what I ate (except, I know that I ate a ridiculous amount of cookies one of the days). I didn't exercise at all on Friday or Saturday, which exacerbated my lethargy and my overall feeling of funkiness.

I'm burnt out. But, wait! I can't be burnt out. We aren't even half-way through this semester. This has to be temporary.

So, I got off my lazy rear and did some pilates in the living room (I'm sure the people across the way love watching this) while Pic chased one of the covert cats around with a balloon from Trader Joe's. I also later did some arm work, and let me tell you, I should have much better arm muscles, I think, after carrying around either fifty pounds worth of school crap or a thirty-pound child all of the time. Why are my arms so weak? Hmm. I got all of the reading for two of my classes finished (one I'm taking and one I'm teaching). I've done most of my planning for most of the week. I'm still behind, but I am confident that I'll catch up (at least enough). I'm so very much needing next week and spring break (and I'd really like my 'spring' ahead hour back, please). I foresee long, long days of reading and playing catch-up (not to be confused with either catsup or ketchup).

So, I think I might have kicked my ennui back to the recesses of my mind, for now. I'm looking forward to the Ides of May like a feend.

hibernation

I think that all animals who hibernate have the right idea. It's been somewhat dark and wet for the past couple of days and I just want to curl up under my blankets and sleep. Alas, I have many pages to read before I sleep (...many miles to go before I sleep).

In the meantime (basically covering any time from here until the middle of May), I feel like I'm in something of a dreamlike state. Time is passing and I'm both hyper-aware of this and, at the same time, barely noticing. I don't have time to stop and think, to figure much out. So, in this middle time of sleep deprivation, I will dream about what I will do when my life has been returned to me -- things I'll do after my initial (and possibly on-going) freak-out because I have absolutely no idea what my next step is.

I like to pretend, for every single year that I can remember, that summer break will be this glorious time of actually getting fun things done (and 'fun' is relative). My list is rarely ever even dented, but I mentally build anyway. Here're some of the things I'm dreaming about for this coming summer (I'm not, by any means including all that I hope to get accomplished -- part of the fun is letting the dream linger and develop):

-- watch Real Genius (now that it's been on my mind, I've been wanting to watch it)
-- sort through and organize the office
-- catalogue all of Pic's and my book so I can know what we have so I can buy more
-- relearn to sew
-- go to the parks and library as many days as possible
-- travel to Vegas to greet a new life

Okay, I'll stop there. Remember, I said 'fun' was relative. Organization is fun to me. A kind of fervent, must be done in a precise manner type of fun, but still.

I need to get back to Shakespeare in Parts and Amoretti and and and..., but first:
What about you all? What are your big or not-so-big plans for this upcoming break? For those of you who don't live in this world of school time, what are you planning for your next break?

minutiae

Last night, I was exercising in my living room. I was doing a balance-ball routine that I've only ever done once before and it's been quite some time. I felt some trepidation starting it because I remember it being a difficult (though short) routine. I got through it with no problems though (okay, except I felt like I might have pulled some wonder-muscle all up my left side), and I came into the office to tell Cardo, 'I don't know why I thought that was so hard...it's actually really easy.'

Then, I woke up this morning and oh geez, my thighs and butt are so sore that I can't even squat down. I'm a total wimp.

One more note: Dora makes me want to drop the tv over the balcony. Pic is watching some Dora dvd we picked up somewhere along the way and the show is beyond annoying. The characters tell you where they are going about five times in a row at the beginning. Underground river! Forest! Tiko's party! UNDERGROUND RIVER! FOREST! TIKO'S PARTY! (And on and on, I won't do that to you.) I feel like I should embrace Dora because my child is half-Mexican, but I don't care. The show is just annoying. We'll just keep getting books from the library like Te Amo, Bebe, Little One, and I'll be satisfied with that. I can no longer handle this little obnoxious screamer with her and her friends' insistence that my child find the (very obvious) forest on the screen and scream out that we are next going to THE FOREST!!! If Pic needs to identify more with other Hispanic children, she can go visit her abuelitos in Mexico for a while. Or, novel idea, she can go to school. [Actually, in her class, she is only one of two Hispanic kids, but I'm sure that when she goes to elementary school, there'll be more 'brown' kids like her (and, yes, Cardo and Pic refer to themselves as brown).]

cv...ette

I just finished putting together my CV and it is not even a baby CV. It's pathetic and I really don't want to send it to my recommenders, but I must, right? Right.

Anyhow, I possibly have a date today. Excitement abounds (I'm not being sarcastic here...Cardo and I rarely have dates).

Then, tomorrow is the big day. I think we'll make Pic some breakfast (probably an egg made by not me) and then take her climbing. We've been wanting to go but have I mentioned I'm in my pseudo-comps semester? Yes? Okay, just so you know.

After climbing, then chissa? When we get hungry, Pic wants to go to a local casino for a buffet lunch. Don't even ask. Okay, so you're curious anyway? We went a couple of times over a year ago, when the casino wasn't what it is now, back when they had a locals'* special and Pic has latched onto those two memories. Buffets are kind of a waste for me because I don't tend to eat much at them and I feel that I'm supposed to or something. (And, of course, it looks like I eat even less than I do because I don't want my food mingling on my plate so my portions are small and well-spaced.)

After lunch, we'll possibly take her to the ice skating rink. I hope they rent skates small enough for her.

After that, again, chissa? We'll probably all be exhausted so we might come home for a movie and some Sir Philip Sidney (because no Valentine's Day/birthday is complete without someone defending some poesy, no?).

Okay, so she knows none of this, so don't tell her. Due to illness and mental imbalances and lack of planning and people being out of town, I think we'll hold off on any bigger get-together until the next weekend. Have I ever mentioned that we aren't people who really celebrate stuff? Yeah, we're not that great at it, but we try. I'm sure at some point, she'll want an actual birthday party at some horrendous venue like Up-Chuck E. Cheese or somewhere like the current craze amongst her schoolmates like Jump Man Jump. Eh, I say. Eh. We pretty much suck at the social, Cardo and I, and Pic is stuck with us. Poor little pie.

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* I recently read the word 'local' as 'lo-cal' and thought, 'Huh, I wonder if that's anything like So-Cal?' I know...my utter genius astounds you.

when i was just a little girl...

Today, a friend observed that when I pull my hair back (as it is in the picture), I look like I'm twelve. Then, she revised the thought and said I usually look about fifteen, but with my hair back, I look twelve.

So, yes! I must look like one of the genius kids around the campus. I'm thinking that this will also be to my advantage when I really start to age, many years from now. I'll be able to mess with so many people's minds when introducing my teenage daughter one day.

I, though, never feel that I look very young. It could have something to do with the gigantic, titanic black circles that have taken up permanent residence under my eyes. It could also be my horrible skin...although, come to think of it, that horrible skin might be part of what makes people think I look like a preteen* or a teenager.

Hmm.

* Yes, I'm aware of the term 'tween,' but that doesn't mean I have to accept it.

ah, flashbacks

Once, when I was in elementary school, we were doing some kind of 'what if?' game. If I had to choose between losing my sight and losing my hearing which would I choose? I always hated this question. Why would I have to make such a choice? What kind of weird supernatural weapon would be aimed at my temple making such a decision necessary?

Anyhow, a recent One Minute Writer posed the question of which sense I'd choose, among my five, to get rid of if I had to. So, I suppose I'll play along.

I never wanted to get rid of my sight. I think it's because my sight is already so completely screwed up (and, yes, it was already bad in elementary school...I've been wearing corrective lenses since I was seven) that I'm afraid to lose what little I have left. I love food too much to want to give up taste. Smell is so connected with memory -- or so it seems -- that I think I'll keep that one also. It might be weird to not have a sense of touch, so that leaves me with sound. It would be weird to live in a silent world, I think, after I've had so many years of hearing. However, I know a little sign language* and if the music is loud enough, I'll be able to feel the rhythm of the music anyway, right?

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* Granted, I'd have to learn more than just the alphabet and a few random signs in ASL, right? Probably. Or, I could just take sticky-notes with me everywhere I go and use those in conversation (ah, Grey's Anatomy, one thing I might miss with this whole fuzzy tv thing...except for the Izzie and Denny plot, otherwise known as the Grey's-Anatomy-jumps-the-shark plot).