Monday, April 5, 2010

nightmares and...well, more nightmares

Sleep has always been an elusive element in my life. For the last two nights, though, sleep had come in copious amounts. However, my sleep has also been filled with nightmares which results in me waking up still not feeling rested. Ugh. And, argh.

The night before last, I dreamed we were so desparate for money to pay our bills, I had to join Cardo as an employee at his job (something they so wouldn't allow any longer, although there was a married couple there about nine years ago). All I can say is: I got no training and Cardo was mean to me. (When I told him about this dream, he actually apologized to me.)

Last night, I dreamed I was standing next to a huge concrete sign -- a sign you might see for a shopping center. I was holding Pic. I'm not sure if she was younger in my dream than in real life. There was an earthquake and the sign cracked and pieces of the cement started to fall. I managed to avoid us being hit by that. Then, the aftershock. Instead of getting away from the sign, I got closer (like those people in movies who run across the path of the impending doom instead of out of the way -- I never understand that). The whole cement sign started falling. I threw Pic away from me and she was safe. The sign fell and almost crushed me. I was only saved because it landed on something that held it up enough that I was only trapped under it. Someone came along and lifted up the edge and pulled me out. (We read a Hercules story yesterday. Hence the super-human?)

After that dream was over last night, I had another where a doctor in a mental health institution was killing staff there. And I kept seeing it happen. I'm not sure what my role was there: patient, staff, accomplice?

So, yeah, it's been a restless couple of nights. It's almost better when I only get four or five hours of sleep a night.

As for the earthquake dream, there was, of course, an earthquake in Mexico yesterday. I'm still waiting to hear from Cardo after he calls various family members to check on them. I hope they're all safe. No one has called us and I'm taking that as a good sign.

How do I turn off my mind so I can depend on restful sleep?


Coach J said...

I wish I knew the answer to that question. I've spent too many restless night with my crazy mind to be any help here. Sedatives, maybe?

v said...

I'm still resisting sedatives with all of my might, but I question whether that's the best decision for me.

Tara W. said...

is turning off your mind possible?

justin rarely ever dreams...or at least never remembers it. and he sleeps soundly and wakes up refreshed.

i dream non-stop, starting from the time i'm just drifting off and still aware of the room until i wake up in the morning. they are vivid and powerful and emotional and physical. and i wake up in the morning tired. justin thinks it's because of my dreams. (incidentally, i've had one dreamless night all i can remember was blankness, like i was sitting unthinking staring at a dark room - it was creepy and i don't remember if i was more rested in the morning or not, probably because i was too weirded out by my lack of dreams to be aware of it).

so if turning off your mind is possible, i'd probably try it just to see how i felt the next day. but ultimately i think i'll take feeling sleepy in the am. i love my dreams (except the scary ones) and am constantly amazed at them. my aunt once told me she thinks this means my life must be pretty boring for me to actually prefer my dreams at times to the daytime. but i think she's just never experienced such a cool mind trip as i do ever night. :)

v said...

Actually, I do like my dreams most of the time. It's just that lately it feels like my anxieties are taking over big time and attempting to work themselves out in scary ways during my sleep.

I can't imagine never dreaming (or never remembering my dreams).