beginnings, endings and...abrupt endings

Okay, I just realized that I never actually posted the end of the 'beginnings, endings and possible false-starts' entry. I don't know how I managed to lose it in the transfer. It's there now.

I've had a sketchy interweb connection for a few days, but I think I've got it figured out now.

Just a couple of Pic-related things to share and then off to finish Deathly Hallows for me.

Earlier, Pic walked up to me and announced, 'There's just one thing.'

'What one thing,' I asked.

'There's just one thing I have to tell you...I used to be a chicken.'

Of course! That explains...well, nothing, really, but it might be handy information in the future.

Earlier than that, as I was reading The Berenstain Bears Go to Camp, I was reading Grizzly Bob's part and Pic suddenly said, 'That's just like Papa!' I looked at her a bit confused and she told me, 'That's just like Papa's voice!'

Apparently I need to work on my range of bear voices.

Okay, that's all for now. I have a lot of blog reading to catch up on and then I have to finish my book.

cutting back

During a recent storytime, I found out just how bad things are getting for the local library. I knew that several branches and the mobile library would be closed, but I didn’t know how badly my library (I feel very possessive of it) would be affected. It turns out that we are losing two days of library operation and Family Nights. Two days! (That’s an incredulous, not a happy exclamation point, certo.)

We also just found out that a friend’s mom has been laid off. My own parents have been worrying about the state of their jobs. We have a friend who is conducting a multi-state job search. I myself am, once again, unemployed and worrying about long-term job-having.

Because I’m trying to hold onto this ignorance-is-bliss stance, I’m trying not to think too much about all of this (although, I’m obviously not doing that great of a job, right?), I’ll sum this up with one word: UGH.

beginnings, endings and possible false-starts

[Edited to add the 'false-starts' part that I somehow never actually posted...oops.]

So, for the good news: Poke’s daughter was born early Saturday morning. Poke’s labor wasn’t easy and she ended up having an emergency c-section. I found this out hours later when Poke called me at five-forty-five in the morning to give me an update. I had been worried and feeling completely useless. I had been worried that I was going to lose her and it was, to employ enormous understatement, a scary thought.

Anyhow, Baby B and her mamma’s writing about her can, of course, be found here.

As for endings: Pic’s last day of school was last Friday. I can’t believe that she’s not going back. She went there for three years. I feel incredible guilt for taking her out. If only she could have stayed one more year, at least, leading up to her kindergarten year.

I was something of a weepy mess on Friday. My emotions were supercharged (I knew that Poke was in the hospital…and, of course, I knew that it was Pic’s last day at school) and pretty much everything was bringing me to tears. Cardo kept offhandedly saying things like, ‘Wow, she’s been going there for so long!’ (Okay, perhaps my husband didn’t actually say, ‘Wow!, but he did seem more amazed than saddened by the fact.)

We sent Pic to school with sandwiches and apple slices that we had assembled that morning and cupcakes we had bought the day before. We wanted it to be something like a party for Pic.

She’s taking things rather well, so far, but pretty soon, she’ll be asking me when she gets to go back to school and play with her friends. Just typing this is dredging up the guilt and doubt that have been plaguing me.

These emotions have a bit to do with taking Pic out of school, but more to do with the reason I’ve taken her out. Yes, I have graduated (yet again…geez), but I STILL have no future plans. Long ago I came to a decision that I haven’t yet shared, but that I’ll go ahead and get out there now: I’ve given up hope on the London program. This is a defensive move. This way, if it doesn’t happen, hey, what’ve I lost? If it does, great, I wasn’t expecting it. (Of course, this mind game isn’t quite convincing me, but I keep it up.) I’ve become weary telling people the same thing over and over: If Pic and I go to London….I still don’t have confirmation….If we can afford the program. I’m tired of explaining. I’m tired of pointing out, again and again, my own shortcomings to people who are filled with good intentions.

So, wow, I don’t mean to end this on such a sour note. Quick, divert your attention. Look, over there, adorable baby pictures!

do you want to know a secret?

It's a secret Pic can tell...

Seriously, my child will tell you.

The other day, she and I went to The Clay Canvas for the first (and possibly the last) time. (Our experience was really rather nice, but I have this touch-texture issue and the feel of the naked bisque is making me shudder and gag right now and I'm not even touching a bare piece of pottery.) I thought it might be cute, although completely unoriginal, for us to make a mug (or two) for Cardo for Father's Day. Yes, Father's Day is a couple of weeks away and I knew there would be some risk involved letting Pic in on the gift, but he's her dad, not mine ('cause, you know, that would be somewhat awkward), so the gift is, of course, from her. I'd rather she knew about it and took part in making it.

Anyhow, to make a long story short (TOO LATE!), we made the mugs and we'll be able to pick them up next Thursday. These will be the most expensive mugs we own, but, it's okay for a one-time deal, I think. I'll post pictures of our arty brilliance after we pick the mugs up.

family ties

In a fit of utter frustration today, Pic yelled at me, 'I'm not your mamma anymore!'

Ah...really? Too bad.

It's decidedly difficult to keep a straight face when she says things like this.

And, earlier, we were jumping on a trampoline when she started explaining to me about her 'conservation,' which, it turns out is 'when you jump like this and then like that.' (Imagine two jumps pretty straight up into the air...two jumps that looked the same to me.)

Anyhow, I'm still pecking along with Cardo's phone here, so I'll have to wait to share the good news tomorrow.

breathing easier

Things are better now that I hear others are breathing easier today. Good news to come.

In our nonnews for today: Pic took her first shower today...by herself! (Yes, that's right...visit me here and I'll share thrilling news about my family's hygeine. Yeah!)

We got to spend some time with our dearly beloved friends today, and it's definitely been too long. It was a wonderfully relaxing day.

As I'm typing this on Cardo's phone and it is driving me pazza, I'm going to have to sign off here (and delve even further into Half-Blood Prince).

disappearing act

I need a break. I'm pretty sure. I'll write more when I feel like writing.