'you can't always get what you want...

...but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.'

The chorus to this song has been stuck in my head a lot in the last week. Definitely not the whole song because, really, it's strange (at least to me). I often do this with songs: find a lyric or two that resonates with me and then dismiss the rest of the song.*

Cardo has always told me that one of the things he likes about me is that I know what I want. I haven't been so sure about that lately. Or, maybe I'm wrong. I do know what I want, ultimately. It's just that I keep going back and forth on how I'm going to get there.

I think I'm nervous about the upcoming couple of months and how they will shape a good chunk of our lives to come. I want to know that everything will work out for the best. I want to just jump into something without having to stop and analyze the situation to death first. (Hey, look at that, I do know what I want. And, because life is uncertain and messy, I won't be getting what I want. Ah, well.)

So, for now, I'm filled with a bit of uncertainty. It seems to me that to embrace certain opportunities is to disallow** myself other opportunities. I know that this is the way things work, but that doesn't mean that I have to be in love with the process right now, right? Right. At the same time that I love to see the evolution of our lives and our plans for our future progress, I am also constantly scared by this change. O, to be a brave soul...

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* I am definteily not the only one who does this. Just think about the whole 'I Will Always Love You'-as-wedding-song phenomenon.

** 'disallow' is a word, right? I am kind of exhausted at the moment, but it sounds okay.

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'The Rolling Stones - You Can't Always Get What You Want (Live 1969)(The Flying Dutchman)'
[The audiovisual quality isn't great, but I felt compelled to post the song.]