undomestic ungoddess

Yesterday, I slipped into a nice, fitted dress, some stockings and a pair of pumps. I applied a quick swipe of lip gloss and a dusting of blush* after I primped my hair. I tied an apron around my waist, snapped on some rubber gloves, hauled out the industrial strength chemicals and sang a happy tune as I cleaned the bathrooms.

Or, back on Earth...

I took a shower and donned a t-shirt and woefully holey pair of pants. I wrapped my hair up in a towel so I could apply a face mask without getting too much in my hair. Because I had the face mask on (shouldn't I not have acne anymore? didn't I pay my dues in junior high and high school? no?), I didn't put my glasses on. This means I can't see anything clearly if it's more than about four inches from my face. Pic was watching The Little Mermaid in the living room (we have about three or four different packagings of that movie, because, you know, why not?), so I figured I'd finally (partially) clean the bathrooms while she was distracted.

Anyhow, I was blindly making my way around my apartment, my face slightly burning under the clay and other crap in the face mask (I was concerned, but not enough to wash it off), and I decided this was the opportune time to make toilet cleaner. I figured, 'Hey, I have to clean both toilets, I'll just make a double batch of cleaner.' Um, yeah. When I added the vinegar to the baking soda, the whole thing bubbled over all over the counter and onto the floor. Well, not the whole thing. I stirred up what remained, fumbled my way to both bathrooms and poured the cleaner in the toilets. I finally wiped away the face mask, put on my glasses and the scrubbed and flushed the toilets. Although the making of the toilet cleaner was somewhat messy and not unlike a second-grade volcano science project, the result was successful. I swept the kitchen and bathrooms and then mixed up some floor cleaner (I say this as if I have a lab and a complicated process, but really, vinegar + water = cheap and easy floor cleaner), and mopped for the first time in my recent memory. (We're immune to our very own grossness, but you might not want to come over without building up your immune system first.)

So, now, there are clean bits in my apartment. For now.

More fun with cleaning.


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* You know this can't be a true story when it took me an embarrassingly long time to remember the term for that colorful stuff some apply to their cheeks.