on tipping

I worked as a server for a few years once I turned twenty-one. I was eager to leave the job I was at and I had these grand ideas that serving would be great and I’d make great money. Ha! said the universe.

The only place I could persuade to hire a completely-lacking-in-experience-me limited its servers to three tables. And, the word ‘unlimited’ applied to some of the staple menu items. (As in, people could come in and spend five bucks on their lunches and sit forever insisting they needed more to eat.) Turns out, I’m not such a great server. I was definitely competent. (Except that time I forgot to fire a meal. One diner had ordered steak, so, for a while, I figured that was the reason for the long wait. When I realized my mistake, I was almost in tears as I hunted down a manager to come help me fix the screw-up. Oh, and that time an entrée slid off my tray and down the stairs. Only once, though.) So, I was competent, but I just don’t have the personality for the job. I despise small-talk, I’m incapable of schmoozing and I hate trying to sell people things they don’t want or need.

This could turn into a rather different post, but I want to stick with tipping, at least for today. I think I was a decent tipper before I served. After I started, though, I became a great tipper. Cardo and I tip high when we go out to eat. We don’t go out often and we have a pretty set range of places we go because we’ve been treated well at these places. I like to tip…most of the time.

There’s a place we sometimes go when Cardo has work meetings. Cardo heads off to talk shop and Pic and I wander the shops in the little downtown area. This is where I first encountered what seems to be a growing trend: the frozen yogurt shop. Yes, frozen yogurt shops have been around all of my life, and, no doubt before. My older sister worked at one when we were all much younger. I still feel, though, that these new yogurt places are a new trend, different than the Golden Spoons and the TCBYs I’m used to.

At the particular place Pic and I visited while Cardo was at his metting, you walk in, grab either a 16-ounce or 20-ounce paper cup and you fill your own cup with the yogurt and toppings you desire. At the end of the line, you place your cup on the scale and the cashier, in your first encounter with this person, reads the scale, relays your total and collects your payment. That’s it. “That’ll be two dollars. Is that debit or credit?” If you’re lucky, “Have a nice day.” That’s it.

On the counter, there’s a tip jar. I was affronted the first time I saw the tip jar. I refused to leave a tip, as I had served myself my food. I felt it was like leaving a tip at a bookstore or a clothing store.

Here’s what I’m wondering: Is it okay that I don’t tip there? I know that at some places, like the restaurant where I worked, people are paid below minimum wage because it is expected that tips will make up the difference. Should I ask if the workers only make minimum wage? I don’t feel okay asking random people how much they make, though. And, anyhow, they’ve probably signed something stating they won’t discuss their compensation.

I see a big difference between the service provided me at this yogurt place and the service provided me at a traditional sit-down restaurant. I’d never not tip at the latter. Even at a coffeehouse or somewhere like HoB (my beloved House of Bread), the tipping situation is different. Something is being made for me. I can see a person preparing my hot chocolate or putting the finishing touches on the cinnamon rolls.

So, what do y’all think? Am I being a ridiculous miser when it comes to the yogurt place? Should I just give in and leave a tip? If I don’t want to tip, should I just not go there? Hmm?