fields of reefer

I don’t really have much to say today. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep (four hours…I didn’t fall asleep until after four). Maybe it’s the anxiety about…everything.

I guess I just want to say “goodbye June, hello July.” July: the month of our family vacation (which we didn’t take last year due to horrendous lack of funds), the month of Indie’s visit, the month of our friends’ wedding (less than three full weeks now), the month of our own fifth wedding anniversary.

Although five years is really such a short amount of time – those of you who have been married much longer probably think of us as infants (well, maybe toddlers) in the world of marriages – I still feel like we’ve been through a lifetime’s worth of experiences together. Maybe this is because I’ve spent almost my entire adult life with Cardo.

Sometimes I feel like, after seven years of being together and about six of living together, we should have each other figured out. We should have us figured out. Now, I know that all relationships take constant work, but I’m still continually amazed to learn new things about Cardo, about us, about myself. Recently, I’ve realized that I need social interaction with my friends and he just doesn’t seem to need any beyond work and family. I’ve also realized that he’s much more accepting of me than I thought any person would ever be able to be. He’s probably come to learn that I’m much crazier than he ever thought I’d be. Such is the trade-off in life.

I never thought that this relationship stuff was going to be easy. I saw my parents argue. I’ve seen other couples argue. Recently, a friend used the metaphor that marriages are like gardens that we have to continually weed. (Of course, I thought she said, “Marriages are our weed.” Does anyone even use the word “weed”?)

So, anyway, I have no idea how this devolved into a freewrite about my marriage. Hmmm.

So, hello July.