rhythms

What I'm going to say here may sound really silly, but so be it.

I've given a lot of thought to my sense of rhythm lately. My rhythm, I have thought, has just been so off. I can't get it together. I'm getting more rest than I regularly got in the last four years (yikes), but it comes at weird, mainly inconvenient times. I'm awake long into the night when others are asleep, when my family is asleep. I have felt so lucky to have been able to spend so much of Pic's life at home with her, but I have pretty much zero daytime to myself. Cardo is always asking me why I'm up late doing things like writing or washing dishes. Late at night is when I hit my stride. Late at night is when I, at long last, have a bit of time for myself. Late at night is when I've always thrived (throve? ha! I'm sticking with "thrived").

I'm not exactly sure what is going on with me lately and I'm trying not to get too caught up in it for fear of spiraling down into something I can't back out of. I have decided, however, that my rhythm is not wrong, it just doesn't mesh with what I believe is expected of most people. I have a whole set of ideals for my life -- one of which has to do with me embracing my wonky rhythm -- but I don't see how they can become reality. I think I'll just have to accept that my rhythm is natural for me and it's okay that it isn't like "everyone else's" (yes, I understand that there are entirely too many people in the world for me to actually believe that there are only two rhythms: mine and Yours [capitalization intentional]). I think I'll also have to accept that if I am going to join the system I'm trying to join, I'm going to have to adjust, even if it kills me. (I studied some unfun stuff on sleep issues in my Intro to Psychology class oh-so-many years ago.)

Okay. On to less vague and depressing matter, but still on rhythm, of other sorts. I've seen some fun music videos out here in the interweb lately. I'll (re)share one here for now.


"OK Go - This Too Shall Pass - Rube Goldberg Machine version"