goodbye lucky

When we took Lucky to the doctor, we had hope that he'd be there a couple of days, get better and come back home where he belongs. He spent the last week of his life in a kennel in the doctor's office. We visited him there and Pic colored a picture that they taped up in his little 'room.' He had jaundice, his liver was seriously screwed up, his pee was really thick and dark, he was eating about a quarter of what he should be to survive. He was quiet.

At the doctor's, Luckster had an IV in his front right leg. He wouldn't (couldn't, really) eat any of the solid food they provided. He was alternately keeping his medicine down and throwing it up. He wasn't making the progress they wanted.

A couple of the times I went to see him, he tried to climb up onto my shoulders to get out.

After we finally realized that he couldn't fight this fight, it was over so quickly. We had taken Pic to school and then we went to visit Lucky. We decided to 'put him to sleep' right then. When Dr T adminstered the anesthesia, Lucky finally became vocal again and tried to pull his leg back. Cardo was sitting in the rocking chair in the little room, Lucky on a towel in his lap. My hand was resting on Lucky's poor too-thin body. He stopped breathing in seconds. Dr T left us with him, but I could only stay for a couple of minutes.

Lucky was only with us for a year-and-a-half. I have no idea what his life was like before he was with us. He was found in a field, along with many, many much younger cats. We loved him and I hope that he was happy here, as a part of our family.

Snuggles has been much more attached to us since his brother left. I don't know if he knows what's going on.

I've been emotionally wrung-out. I thought I'd cried all my tears, but writing this is hard. This followed so closely after Cardo's mom (I won't be writing anything more about that here, but thanks for the emotional support). Everything feels in a state of upheaval right now.

When we got home today, I automatically looked for Lucky sleeping on my pillow. He wasn't there.