adventures in sterility

Okay, so I know that I keep bandying about the term 'sterility' and I know that it sounds harsh and horrible, but I mean it in a light-hearted way. I'm not sure why I have to make a joke of it. Possibly because this is what I do, I make jokes, no matter how bad they may be.

Anyhow, yesterday was not only my parents twenty-eighth wedding anniversary (congrats!...yes, I called them, this isn't how I'm sending along my only felicitations), but also the day of Cardo's and my tubal ligation consulation. Dr D talked us through the whole procedure. It's an outpatient endoscopic procedure. The results are immediate. When Dr D asked about the reason for our visit, confirming we were there to talk about a tubal, I firmly confirmed and he let it go at that. I was expecting him to try to talk me out of it, to remind me, as so many others have, that I'm young, I only have one kid, I'm cutting off (or cauterizing up) my options. While he did later affirm that this was a permanent decision, he didn't try to talk me out of it. I want to believe that it was because I was so adamant about wanting the procedure. The only thing I had been worried about was whether I'd have to take hormones for the rest of eternity. Dr D told me that as long as I have my ovaries, I won't need to take hormones.

So, the appointment is being set by the surgery scheduler.

I'm nervous because this is surgery and I've never before had surgery. As Poke mentioned in our forever-long and much-needed chat earlier, I'm not afraid of the pain, I'm afraid of the procedure. I've never understood how people can undergo surgery and live. I'm pretty sure that if I just cut open Cardo's navel, I might do some serious harm. However, Dr D is going to make an incision in my bellybutton, insert the endoscope and go to work. I'll get there in the morning and be out by noon, he says (of course, no guarantees, but I'm seriously hoping everything is textbook and clockwork and fine and dandy). He says I'll probably have abdominal discomfort for a day or two but they'll send me home with painkillers.

Okay, so I'm nervous about it, but we're too worried about Cardo's heart for him to have a vasectomy (it has to do with possible infection, because, yes, I know his heart and his testes* are relatively far apart). So, please help me keep calm about this, even if it's only in thought. Grazie mille.

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* Once, while we were in high school, Poke's mom left her a note that we swear said "Good luck on your testes."