supermamma strikes again

So, because I'm weirdly, morbidly thinking about death again a lot lately, I bought The Berenstain Bears Lose a Friend at Sundance today. And then, I read it to Pic tonight. Why I thought this would be a decent idea, I'm not exactly sure. I'm not really sure how you introduce the topic to a three-year-old...especially when no one close to us has recently died.

She was upset about what had happened to the fish (pet-death, not bear-friend-death) and she insisted that I reread certain parts to her a couple of extra times. It is usually the case that after I read a book to her, she peruses it herself, but this perusal was different, more intent. She repeatedly asked me, "What happened?" and "Why?" I told her that Goldie had died and it was just a natural part of the cycle of life. I explained to her what I think happens after the we that we currently are die (dies? I've confused myself here with the singular/plural agreement...is "the we" singular?). She just kept asking me, "Why?"

And, I have no really good answers for her. I get into this obsessive trip about death and my fears sometimes overwhelm me. Occasionally, I have this weird apprehension that, hey, what if I'm dead already and I just don't realize it? I can never satisfactorily answer this for myself, though.

Anyhow, I explained as well as I could and then we read Amelia Bedelia and the Christmas List (not as good as the classic Amelia Bedelia books, but it worked well enough). Regardless, Pic's probably having nightmares right now. I'm a fantabulous mamma, I know.

By the way, though, she did not react nearly as strongly to Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs (one of my favorite books from when I was little...I was strangely drawn to it).

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In somewhat related non-news, I'm currently rereading Thomas Tryon's The Other.* It's probably been almost a decade since I last read it. This might have something to do with the sombre mood.


In totally unrelated non-news, the "Knowledge Center" said** I owed it $75. The next e-mail from the "KC" was an oops-just-kidding one and thanks be because I already have a special dislike for the home of EMERAC.


* Get a load of the price tag on this. Perhaps I should sell mine after I finish it again. Eh, it's not that nice, though...just a musty old paperback (my favorite kind for pleasure-reading).

**Because, you know, it can send out e-mails. Either that, or I can occasionally employ synedoche...even if I pronounced it sin-ek-doshe, for a good few months when I first came across it a few years ago.