board games and movies?

Or, how about board games made into movies. When I first heard this story on NPR the other day, my first thought was, 'Seriously?! Um, no thanks.'

The topic?: Turning board games into movies. They (whoever they were, I don't remember and I'm not going back to listen to the whole segment now) were talking about Monopoly, Battleship and Candy Land (as Ridley mentions in that link above). I loathe the game Monopoly. I don't have the attention span for it, or something. Not the original game or any of the versions that have come out since. I used to think that I liked Battleship, and I even owned (own?) it, but every time I sat down to play it, I really just wanted to make patterns with the pegs (I loved the Lite-Brite). Candy Land, I loved. At least I remember loving it. And, I'm sure that Pic might very much enjoy a movie based on it, granted it be incredibly cheesy. (She might not recognize the characters because we've only played a few times. She only wants to get the character cards, even if it means she has to move back. A co-worker once told me to just wait until Cardo and I started stacking the deck to make sure Pic won, and quickly.)

But, really, how are these movies supposed to work? Monopoly? 'Yes! I bought up all the property in Atlantic City!...Oh, wait, that's probably a bad thing. Anyone know where I can get a bailout?' Battleship? I can't even envision this. 'How many missiles will we waste by guessing where the enemies crafts are?' Hmm, no thanks. Candy Land? A group of gingerbread-looking kids go off to find The Big Rock Candy Mountain? And they meet gumdrop and candy cane people on the way? Sure, why not.

All this doubt expressed, though, but I almost forgot that when I was little, I watched Clue about a billion times. Then, I kept watching it on occasion as I got older. I'd still watch it now. Not because I think it's a great mystery movie or anything, but because I know it so well (even after all this time). So, to make a long story short (TOO LATE!), I have to say that Cardo and I will probably continue to avoid the cinemas. Ah, well.

Actually, to make a long story even longer, I'll leave you with one of the comments left on the NPR story:

(Using my best deep movie announcer voice...)
Coming this summer...
In a world where everything is Black and Red... Checkers, the Movie. King Me!

Plus, this 4th of July...
They said it would be More Fun...
Barrel of Monkeys.

And don't miss.... Solitaire!
This time it's personal.

And coming this Holiday Season...
Literature has given us stories of Great Hunters -
The 19th Century gave us Ahab and The Great White Whale...
The 20th Century gave us Quint and The Great White Shark...
Now it's the 21st Century and Samuel L. Jackson is hunting.... THREES! Go Fish!

And...good night.