Sunday, November 23, 2008

moving on...but, why?

Today, Coach J, Destructor, Pic and I went to hang out for a bit. Coach J had invited me to go see HMS Pinafore last night, but I was slightly freaking out about the mess here and the reading and packing that needed to be done. I was thinking to bail on today's outing also, but I thought, "I'm going to need to get out of the apartment tomorrow, regardless." So, we went.

The kids were great. They shared sips (one of Destructor's new words in his enormously-speedily growing vocabulary) of apple juice and bites of a lemon poppyseed scone. We walk around and gifts for an upcoming birthday were bought. Then, we took the kids to Williams Sonoma where we salivated over kitchen gadgets we might not ever be able to afford (we found a copper KitchenAid mixer I love, but it costs $899!). After window shopping a bit more, we ended up at Johnny Carino's for lunch. The kids sat next to each other and shared toys and food.

I needed to get out and I'm glad that we went.

It's been so great being able to see Destructor grow from, well, fetus (okay, so I didn't actually see this...other than the sonogram pictures on Coach J's fridge) to the running around, talking, active boy he is now. Most of the time, the kids get along pretty well. And, while the kids play, I get to hang out with my friend, which is always good.

So, after days like this, I wonder what I'm thinking moving. I know that people say that I'll form a new support group wherever I end up next, but really, it's taken me so ridiculously long to form the one I have here. I hate the thought of Pic and I spending most of our time with just the two of us because I tend to be a hermit.* I also hate the thought of being three years in before I form a new support group and then having to move two years later anyway. Sometimes I wonder why I even form attachments anyway.

Okay, so that last thought is horribly pessimistic, I know. I'm just not a huge fan of the whole uprooting thing right now. Part of this is just nervousness about me having to start somewhere new and unknown. I'll get over it, I suppose I will (because I'm the queen of wishful thinking).


P.S. Yes, I know that I whine about this upcoming move a lot, but, well, this is my blog, so I'll whine about it as much as I please.


* I recently spent an entire semester using the term "eremite" because I couldn't for the life of me remember the freaking word "hermit." Sleep is a beautiful thing and I obviously need more of it.